The Lord is sharing with me - only a few of the original 12 Apostles of the Lamb have any part of their personal testimonies included in Scripture. I mean, their personal lives after Jesus departed, what happened to them each, individually is not found in scripture.....for a reason. They were being highly honored by God because they received the blessing of anonymity. They had no attention or glory diven to them beyond what we see in the Book of Acts, which does not single them out but mostly reveals what they did as a group, which is how we should behave today -  our identity should be more in what we're doing within a group then what we're doing individually. 

We know from history that most of them were martyred but none of their deaths is recorded in scripture. The more anonymous we are, the greater the calling, in most but not all instances, i think. The more God can use us when the time comes, for him to release us into our time of high impact, we must not crave the spotlight. Even Jesus,  except for a few brief moments at birth, at three years old, and at his Bar Mitzvah at 12, was anonymous (scripturally) until the time came pre-appointed by the Father for him to burst upon the national scene. I will gladly labor for a lifetime in anonymity for just one month of ministry like Jesus had, much less three years! I have to have every ounce of desire for self promotion  or self glory drained from my heart completely before Father chooses to use me to shake foundations, uproot long held (false) beliefs and traditions of men, and to dig wells and establish paths to dwell in. He must exalt me, for i cannot in any way, exalt myself. I must seek HIS GLORY for any other glory is vain glory, no matter how we couch it in Christian cliches or give testimony that we say is to glorify God but the real intent is to make us look good in the eyes of people. I must continue to seek and desire anonymity in my heart, only entering the spotlight  He shines on me, only going where HE sends me, only speaking what HE puts in my mouth. This is all assuming He will use me at all. I've squandered far too many years. He may decide to curse me like he did the fig tree, if he comesvto inspect and enjoybmy fruit and finds it rottingnor non-existent. In fear and trembling i cry out to Him- take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Renew a right spirit within me. I crave his presence more than fame or any other spotlight men can shine on me. To be used by Him to bring glory to Him is my soul desire. My stubbornness and pride is breathtaking in it's scope, I've too often refused to be broken. Saving my soul is the greatest miracle Jesus will ever perform for me. Lord, S.O.S. - Save Our Souls!

PS  i wrote this in December 2017

 Sometimes  Grace is not responding at all to people's accusations and slanderous gossip, to outright lies spoken against us. Sometimes Grace is responding to these things by speaking truth in love.

Jesus' flesh was wholly consecrated to the Father's will- Jesus would not defend his own flesh, for it was not his own, it was the Father's to do with as He pleased. You'd think the Father would seek to preserve Jesus' flesh, for it was the only completely holy and righteous flesh in mankind's history (since the fall), but instead, he gave it up to be sacrificed.  The principal is this --  The more subjected to the Father's will we become,  the more intimate with him we are -  the more Holy we become,  the greater the sacrifice.  The Father will take flesh offered to Him and sacrifice it for the good of others, on other's behalf, but the more we lose our lives this way, the more of our Father's life we gain -- to the point where we can be stoned to death and yet live. Like Jesus,  we must not try to defend our flesh -  our flesh wants to preserve itself at all costs, no, we must give it away, to our Father. As He gives us our daily bread,  Jesus' righteous flesh, we give Him our daily bread (flesh), our unrighteous flesh, a Divine, daily exchange takes place.

As we daily forgive other's trespasses, He daily forgives ours. Again,  a daily exchange takes place - forgiveness for sins, as we accept His wine, His blood, poured out for us, He accepts our blood, given to Him in sacrifice   - it's a beautiful thing, a holy thing, that He initiated on the Cross.

On the Cross, God says to us -  I no longer want the flesh (and blood) of your Bulls and goats, I want your flesh daily. I want you to become My living sacrifice, offered to Me, on the altar of My will for you, where the fire of My Spirit will consume you, making you a burnt offering, a sweet savor, to Me. And just as the bush burned and was not consumed, so shall your flesh be unto Me, saith The Lord. And just as I spoke out of the bush that burned yet was not consumed,  so shall I speak out of you. And you shall be My witness  to a wayward generation-  consuming it's own flesh instead of Mine, hungering for unrighteous flesh, lusting for flesh that is unclean, and they will bring upon themselves  that which their hearts desire - for they will dwell forever in the flesh they craved, unrighteous flesh, devoid of My presence, saith the Lord. 

When we consume His flesh, we live by His faith, we live by His righteousness,  we declare in our daily communion "my own flesh cannot sustain me, my own flesh is abhorrent to me. I declare allegiance to Your flesh, O Lord, to Your Body, to Your people, whoever and wherever they are. My flesh, my life, is theirs to consume and theirs is mine." We truly live by giving our lives to one another -  in so doing, we fulfill the law of Christ, i.e. the law of love. We no longer live for ourselves, we live for Him, his will, which is to live for others. We declare in Communion, i no longer want unrighteous flesh- i want righteous flesh, Holy flesh, that i can abide in forever.  O Lord, my flesh is weak, and i have no righteousness in and of myself. 

 My Passport opens with this statement:

The Secretary of State of the United States of America hereby requests all whom it may concern to permit the citizen/national of the United States named herein to pass without delay or hindrance, and in case of need to give all lawful aid and protection. 

It strikes me that we should adopt this same principle when dealing with one another in the Body of Christ:

The Lord Jesus, Christ of the Kingdom of Heaven, hereby requests all whom it may concern to permit the citizen of God's Kingdom named in the Book of Life to minister in any way they choose, without delay or hindrance, and to render likewise to them any and all ministry needed, spiritual or physical, shelter, food or clothing, all needs in their entirety. 

 Theocracy: A form of government in which God is recognized as the Supreme Civil ruler.

I recently had an epiphany.  To understand it, you need to understand what i previously understood  and thought to be true. Here it is: for years now, I've believed that the only government that will work in this world is a Theocracy  - with Jesus himself ruling and reigning from the New Jerusalem "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder- of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom,  to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even forever".

I thought, we will all have to wait till the "Millennial reign of Christ" to see this come to pass, and i still believe this - but now i see -  we do not have to wait for his government.  The Theocracy of which i speak is here, now. Those of us who have surrendered to His will, have a choice - to come under His rule now, we in the Body can live out this reality,  if we choose. We can make Jesus our head, when we call him "Lord", we can actually submit to Him in the here and now, corporately- meaning, he himself is our head and no man - meaning, we are all to bow low before him, at his feet, and acknowledge him as our king. He can and should decide all issues between us. He can direct and guide us. His government, of which there is no end, is here, now, in us, his people.  

The New Jerusalem is here, now, for it is us. Jesus is even now ruling and reigning on the earth in and through each believer. 

The full authority of his government  is ours to wield, the power is ours too. The religious church system denies him his rightful place and puts man in charge, which is what the world does, govern themselves apart from God. A song of adoration and praise means nothing if we don't give him his propee place in our lives. We are not waiting for him to return one day to rule and reign upon the earth (though he will), no, he is here now, in spirit, ruling and reigning, in us and through us. The millenial reign of Christ is simply the physical manifestation of a spiritual reign that's already happening. However, our enemy wants us to keep waiting for it to happen on some future day, no one knows when. He's terrified the saints will awaken to the glorious truth of God's word  -  all the authority and power of Jesus Christ himself is available to us now, all of us who believe,  not just a select few "chosen ones". 

I do believe there is a measure of faith, power and authority given to Apostles,  Prophets, and the other headship anointings but not because they are better or there is anything about them and that is unique or special that sets them apart from rest of the Saints, it is all because  He chose us to be whatever we become, and it is all so we can take any authority and power  granted us as headship ministers and lay it down at the feet of the Saints in service to them. They are the focus of our headship calling, not we ourselves,. We are to equip and enable THEM to DO the WORK of the ministry,  not go about doing all the work ourselves.  When all the saints are walking in all the headship anointings,  oh what a glorious day that will be! 

"But if all prophecy". "desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophecy", "the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also". "For when for the time you ought to be teachers" "do the work of an evangelist" "submit yourselves one to another" (pastor each other).

let's open the floodgates 

let the anointing pour forth

let's break the yokes

let's altar the course 

let's succumb

to the Only One

who can make us holy

By His Spirit 

let us walk and breathe

and talk and conceive

and bring forth to the breach

what was before out of reach

let us be transparent 

let his light shine through 

let us guide the errant 

to the freedom to obey You -

who has to do with us

The One who ever is and ever will be

The God of the Crystal Sea,

The Rainbow Throne

The Cherubim and Seraphim

and all that is known -

who is love

who rides upon the thunder

and walks between the stones

who fills us with wonder

and never leaves us alone 

who cares for us

better than a mother

cares for her newborn 

who clothes us with righteousness 

who's mercies are new each morn

Selah