One of my life's greatest challenges has been the need to be liked. I want to crucify and bury this sin with my old man, and all the rest of his ways that keep me so full of myself. I'm not sure why I'm this way, but I was rejected by my father who abandoned me while I was still in the womb. Subsequently, my step-father barely knew me, though he adopted me at the age of four - spending very little time with me, and he too abandoned me. Once I left home at the age of 18, he never contacted me once, ever.
As a prophetic, Jewish apostle, I've experienced plenty of rejection, some my fault, some not but the desperate need to be liked can be a kind of torment.
Jesus says I'm blessed when men revile and persecute me and He says "take my prophets for an example of suffering" but it hasn't been easy. Some cannot enter into fellowship with me because they're carnally minded. Some are tares. Only true brethren can (and will) show me love. Really, only the Holy Spirit and my wife have stuck with me through thick and sin. Really, in the midst of my rebellion they never forsook me. May they both be rewarded with rich, vibrant fellowship with me for all my remaining days.
Here at the English Village I work at (in South Korea), I was completely ignored when I first arrived here, this with over 50 co-teachers. When they would make plans to get together, i could hear them, but they never invited me. Even in the office, they used to chat and joke with each other but never with me. Some would not even say hello or good morning to me. But I didn't realize then what a blessing that was for me. During those first few months I entered into the sweetest fellowship with the Holy Spirit since I first met Him thirty years ago. It's been wonderful. And if people here were friendlier to me, I wouldn't have spent so much time with my Lord's sweet Spirit. Really, His friendship is better than any humans, it's better than the friendship of everyone on earth combined. I'd rather He like me than anyone, really. Time alone with Him is so much sweeter and satisfying than anything else I can think of. I want to take a moment and Thank God for being such a good friend to me, for sharing His heart with me and wisdom. I love revelation from the Holy Spirit more than food or drink. Selah.
As a prophetic, Jewish apostle, I've experienced plenty of rejection, some my fault, some not but the desperate need to be liked can be a kind of torment.
Jesus says I'm blessed when men revile and persecute me and He says "take my prophets for an example of suffering" but it hasn't been easy. Some cannot enter into fellowship with me because they're carnally minded. Some are tares. Only true brethren can (and will) show me love. Really, only the Holy Spirit and my wife have stuck with me through thick and sin. Really, in the midst of my rebellion they never forsook me. May they both be rewarded with rich, vibrant fellowship with me for all my remaining days.
Here at the English Village I work at (in South Korea), I was completely ignored when I first arrived here, this with over 50 co-teachers. When they would make plans to get together, i could hear them, but they never invited me. Even in the office, they used to chat and joke with each other but never with me. Some would not even say hello or good morning to me. But I didn't realize then what a blessing that was for me. During those first few months I entered into the sweetest fellowship with the Holy Spirit since I first met Him thirty years ago. It's been wonderful. And if people here were friendlier to me, I wouldn't have spent so much time with my Lord's sweet Spirit. Really, His friendship is better than any humans, it's better than the friendship of everyone on earth combined. I'd rather He like me than anyone, really. Time alone with Him is so much sweeter and satisfying than anything else I can think of. I want to take a moment and Thank God for being such a good friend to me, for sharing His heart with me and wisdom. I love revelation from the Holy Spirit more than food or drink. Selah.
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